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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24059692">an aftermath (maybe so, maybe not)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouveyrac/pseuds/prouveyrac'>prouveyrac</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(as in neither fluff nor angst), Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, an argument that unravels some deepseated feelings, i am not pushing any pro dark side agenda, i do not agree with all the stuff i wrote, i wanted to explore what was going on on janus's end, im just vibing!, nor am i pushing any anti light side agenda, this is my personal take after the new episode!, this is not sympathetic nor unsympathetic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:33:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,102</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24059692</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouveyrac/pseuds/prouveyrac</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“If you’re so sure you’re not one of them-” And Remus took one final step closer, backing Janus up against the wall “-Why do you care that they don’t like you?”</p><p>(Remus pays Janus a visit on April 13th)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>an aftermath (maybe so, maybe not)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>*blows the dust off this part of my ao3* so it's been a while, huh!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Well that was <em> harsh, </em>Janus!”</p><p>Janus rolled his eyes, not even bothering to turn around. He didn’t have to look to see the stupid grin, anyway.</p><p>“Shove off, Remus.”</p><p>“I’m just <em> saying </em> -” And, listening to the way he sauntered about, Janus could just imagine him slinking about his room and toying with his belongings before they vanished and appeared somewhere else “-You could at least <em> pretend </em> that I have the potential for some <em> do-gooding.” </em></p><p>Janus adjusted his gloves and, with a sigh, spun around to finally face Remus. He had been right; Remus was twirling around one of Deceit’s hats on his finger and then they both watched as it burst into black smoke and reappeared on the shelf across the room. </p><p>“You’re not good,” Janus pointed out, “And neither am I.”</p><p>Remus flashed him a smirk. “We’re just drawn that way.”</p><p>Janus scoffed and folded his arms. “What are you even doing here, Remus?”</p><p>“Oh-” Remus threw a mock-offended hand to his heart (if he even had one) “-Janus! You <em> know </em> how terrible my room is! Ever since Thomas separated his <em> favorite twins, </em> it’s been awful! Separated from my <em> own brother </em>by a barrier that I can see through yet can’t cross! Oh, the horror!”</p><p>“Don’t try to get me to pity you.”</p><p>“Oh, no?” Remus questioned with a raised eyebrow, taking one step closer. “Does that mean you have a preference? For the <em> good twin, </em> that is?”</p><p>Janus chuckled (bitterly, some might say) and, swallowing the remaining hurt, shook his head. “How funny. You think even <em> one </em>of you is good.”</p><p>Maybe some hurt still remained.</p><p>Remus laughed (cackled, some might say) and shimmied his shoulders. “Oh! I seem to have struck a <em> nerve!” </em></p><p>“Absolutely not.”</p><p>“Alright, <em> Lord of the Lies,” </em> Remus crooned, taking one step closer. “You keep up your cute little schtick, and I’ll keep up mine!”</p><p>He raised an eyebrow, taking in Remus’s gaudy attire and his wild eyes. For just a second, Janus swore he saw green spirals circling closer and closer to his thin pupils.</p><p>“Are you even smart enough to have a schtick?” Janus bit, jutting his chin up. From this angle, it even felt like he had the leg up.</p><p>“Oh!” Remus exclaimed. “How sharp for a snake without teeth!”</p><p>Janus narrowed his eyes, and the scales on his face itched. “What is<em> that </em> supposed to mean?”</p><p>“How’s that light looking, Janus? Not too bright, right?” Remus took another step forward and flicked his nose. “Wouldn’t want that precious face of yours getting burned!”</p><p>Janus growled and shoved him back, though Remus just laughed and stepped forward again. </p><p>This time, Janus took a step back. His shoulders were tight with tension under his cape and he sucked a sharp breath in through his teeth, as if the air clawing into his lungs would do enough. “As if I could <em> ever </em> be one of them!” he hissed.</p><p>Remus, ever the lover of entertainment, watched with sadistic amusement.</p><p>“Mourning your place with us, Deceit?” With an exaggerated pout on his face, he cocked his head. “Wishing you were dealt better cards?”</p><p>“You’re <em> hysterical, </em>Remus.”</p><p>“Jealous of Virgil?” Remus prodded. “Up there with all his friends?”</p><p>Remus took another step forward. Janus took another step back.</p><p>“As if I would ever <em> want </em>to be one of them!”</p><p>“Look at you, thinking you can lie to me,” Remus teased. “Look at<em> you, </em> thinking you know enough about morality when even poor little Morality doesn’t!”</p><p>Janus rolled his eyes. “You know what, Remus? Surprise me! Prove that you actually <em> know </em> something about good and evil.”</p><p>“Oh, Janus, you’re so<em> cute!” </em> Remus condescended, tugging on his cape. “Pretending like you don’t already know the answer-” He then leaned in closer, grinning like the devil “-As if you don’t know that <em> I </em> already do. As if I don’t know what you’re <em> trying </em> to do.” He yanked Janus’s hat over his eyes and Janus shoved him back again, though he barely stumbled.</p><p>“It’s not worth it, babe!” Remus laughed, dusting off his jacket. “It’s all nonsense! Would hate to lose my <em> best friend </em> to a lost cause!”</p><p>“I’m not going anywhere!” Janus snapped and readjusted his hat. “You can bitch and moan about how much you want me gone, but I’m staying here!”</p><p>The manic grin slipped off Remus’s face, and even he had to admit that the sudden calm was unsettling. “Are you, now? Was all of that just a little playdate? A fun <em> game night?” </em></p><p>“They’re all idiots, every single one of them.” Janus whipped his head away, focusing instead on the stack of papers that decided to reappear on his desk. “They don’t want to listen? Fine by me. It’s their funeral.”</p><p>“Oh?” Remus took a step closer. Janus took a step back. “But you <em> were </em> listened to. By the one and only! The Big T! Not to mention his <em> morals </em> are snuggling up to you! How’d you manage <em> that?” </em></p><p>He scoffed. </p><p>“Or was their approval not enough for you?” Remus continued. “Is it something…<em> more </em> you want?”</p><p><em> “Please, </em> Remus, I’m not pathetic enough to beg on my knees for their approval. Not all of us are so… <em> anxious </em> about that.”</p><p>“Perhaps not.” Remus shrugged. “I, for one, know that my<em> dear brother </em> won’t ever come around!” A smirk then flashed across his face. <em> “Speaking </em>of Roman-”</p><p>
  <em> “Remus-” </em>
</p><p>“He seemed to strike a nerve.”</p><p>“Being insufferable idiots runs in the family, apparently.”</p><p>Remus narrowed his eyes, studying Janus with a closeness that made his skin crawl. “You’re so <em> delightful, </em> Janus.”</p><p>“You flatter me,” he said flatly.</p><p>“If you’re so<em> sure </em> you’re not one of them-” And Remus took one final step closer, backing Janus up against the wall <em> “-Why </em> do you care that they don’t like you?”</p><p>Janus smirked. “I don’t need anyone to like me.”</p><p>Remus, grinning, blinked. “Was that what I said?”</p><p>His smirk dropped into a sneer.</p><p>“You might need them like a hole in the head-” Remus poked at his forehead “-But you keep going up there!”</p><p>Janus slapped his hand away. “It’s a crashing plane up there,” he snapped, “And they think that<em> I’m </em> the wrong one!”</p><p>“Oh, so it’s a pissing contest!” Remus laughed, clapping his hands together. “How fun!”</p><p>Janus scoffed and shoved him. Remus, this time, allowed himself to stumble back.</p><p>“I don’t know why I expected you to care,” he huffed. “I don’t think you’ve ever cared for anything.”</p><p>Remus kept laughing, and shrugged. “Oh I care!” And he kept laughing. “And they care, too! We all care<em> so much!” </em> And he swept his hand around Janus’s room. “It’s what keeps us <em> here!” </em> He raised his hand up, his gaze following, and, for a moment, it was like Roman was in the room. “It’s what keeps them <em> there!” </em> His head then whipped back to Janus and, grinning, he cocked his head. <em> “Care </em>is what keeps this fun game going!”</p><p>Janus stared.</p><p>“You keep slithering your way up there,” Remus continued, waving his hands with a flourish, “To thrust your agenda right up there!” Janus grimaced. “Along with everyone else’s! All your agendas smacking against each other, hard and rough, until one finally-”</p><p>“Remus, I swear to-”</p><p>“Gives in,” Remus finished with a smirk and an eyebrow raise. “Me, though?”</p><p>Janus, too, raised an eyebrow. “You, though?”</p><p>“Nothing!”</p><p>A lie. A covered one. His head ached. </p><p>“So Roman got all the ambition?”</p><p>“Of course he did!” Remus laughed. “He got the ambition <em> and </em> the favor- well!” He shrugged. “Maybe! Maybe Rome has finally fallen!”</p><p>Janus rolled his eyes. “I still don’t know what you’re doing here, Remus,” he said.</p><p>Remus tsked. “And I thought you were smart!”</p><p>Janus bristled.</p><p>“What was it that I said so long ago?” Remus mused. “Good and bad is all made up nonsense?”</p><p>“Sounds like something you would say.”</p><p>“And seems like I’m the only one who believes it! You will all keep fighting up there,” Remus said, swaying back and forth. “Pushing morals and agendas all just so that one of you can be the favorite. And just wait! One day you will all realize that all these efforts have gone right down the toilet with everything else! There is no good and bad side here! There’s just who pushes the hardest.”</p><p>Janus stared.</p><p>“And then all of this-” he gestured about “-Will come crashing down!”</p><p>“And then what?” Janus asked quietly.</p><p>Remus smirked. “The real fun begins.”</p><p>Janus was silent for a moment.</p><p>And then he smirked.</p><p>“And so the agenda reveals itself.”</p><p>Remus, the grin slipping off his face, stared.</p><p>“It’s very bold of you to try to lie to me,” Janus said, leaning back against his wall. “You can try to<em> pretend </em> like you won’t miss me. Like you truly <em> hate </em> Roman. Like you don’t <em> wish </em> for that barrier to come down!”</p><p>And Janus, pushing himself off the wall, started walking forward.</p><p>Remus started walking back.</p><p>“I see through it all,” he continued. “You know that. You come in here with your<em> jests </em> and your <em> questions </em> because you think you can talk around the truth.” He smirked. “I’ll admit, you had me there for a moment. But you want to be listened to just as much as the rest of us. You want the <em> control.” </em></p><p>“And you don’t?” Remus bit.</p><p>His back hit the wall and Janus stopped in front of him.</p><p>“Maybe so. Maybe some,” he said with a shrug. “But I, believe it or not,<em> care </em> for Thomas.” He cocked his head. “And you? You want the power, sure. But that doesn’t change the fact that you want to be up there just as badly. And you just think <em> that </em>means control.”</p><p>Remus stayed silent. Red-handed.</p><p>“And you want an answer, don’t you?” Janus asked.</p><p>Remus raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“Perhaps I don’t <em> need </em>anyone to like me,” Janus repeated. “But care? Well, I’m finding that it’s rather nice to be listened to. Given a seat at the metaphorical table.”</p><p>“They won’t accept you,” Remus growled.</p><p>Janus shrugged. “Maybe not. I’ve made quite a few enemies.” He smirked. “But at least I have a seat.”</p><p>“And yet you’re still going to end up back here.”</p><p>“Maybe so, but at least I get the choice.”</p><p>Remus scoffed.</p><p>“And I think you’re wrong,” Janus continued. “It’s not a pissing contest. You think I—what did you say?—push my agenda to be liked? To be the favorite?”</p><p>“Is that not what you’re all fighting for?”</p><p>“Maybe. But I think there’s something more to all of <em> this.” </em> He gestured upward. “Me, though? I’d rather… balance.”</p><p>Remus raised an eyebrow. “Balance?”</p><p>Janus smirked. “So it doesn’t all come crashing down.”</p><p>Remus laughed, though, this time, the bitterness seeped through. “Rome fell in a day, you know.”</p><p>“I think we’ll manage.”</p><p><em> “He </em> would pay to see your fall!”</p><p>“Then-” And Janus took a step back “-I’ll just have to prove him otherwise.”</p><p>Remus bristled, seethed. “You don’t even <em> like </em> him!” he snapped. “Just before, you said that <em> neither </em> of us were good! That <em> you </em> weren’t either!”</p><p>“Oh, sure, we’ve<em> both </em> made some enemies. But if what I said is true—and it always is—” He winked and Remus scoffed, “Maybe neither of us are good. <em> Or </em> maybe it’s more complicated than that. After all, <em> we’re here </em> in the first place. But… maybe these agendas that we’re all pushing will do some good in the end. For Thomas.” Janus shrugged. “But Remus… have I-” And he placed a hand to his heart “-Struck a nerve?”</p><p>Remus rolled his eyes and pushed himself off Janus’s wall.</p><p>“And I’ll have you know,” Janus said as Remus started to make his exit. “Good and bad might be complicated. Right and wrong, too. But I wouldn’t write them off.”</p><p>Remus sneered. “Did <em> Patton </em> teach you that?”</p><p>“Don’t do me such a disservice.” Janus smirked. “I can be a <em> very </em> good teacher.”</p><p>Remus grimaced—no, <em> frowned, </em>and something pained poked out of it—and shook his head. “Such a liar, Janus. I thought you didn’t want to be one of them!”</p><p>“I don’t,” Janus confirmed. “I just want to be me. I don’t see a reason to change.” </p><p>“Too bad.” Remus turned away. “You already have.”</p><p>And he vanished.</p><p>Janus, for a moment longer, stared at the place where he once stood.</p><p>Remus wishes he could go, too, good or bad.</p><p>He just doesn’t know how to. Not without letting it crumble first.</p><p>“Maybe so,” he finally said, turning back to his mirror. He smiled at his reflection, his yellow eye glinting, and began to take off his gloves. “Maybe not.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading!! feedback is appreciated!!!</p><p>ethospathoslogan.tumblr.com</p></blockquote></div></div>
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